One of the joys of watching “A Christmas Story” over and over is the challenge of deciphering Darren McGavin’s made up swear words when he’s doing battle with the furnace in the basement or with a flat tire on the Oldsmobile.

With that in mind, here are some key phrases that may come in handy for you over the holiday or in the next three years of the Obama administration:

“You wart mundane noodle”!

“You schottin’ shiskafaskafa!”

“You snort tunger”!

“Lay munger snacka shacocker”!

“Notafingah”!

“You filthy piston helkin”!

“You whip mauker”!

“Smelly wump wustler”!

“Grab dump fratin’ hosstickel fifer”!

“You bladder pussnot grapah”!

“You dortin’ donobado”!

My thanks to “Rhod” over at “It Don’t Make Sense” for having the gift of interpretation of tongues.

(All this reminds me of one my very first blog posts here more than two-and-a-half years ago: “On Faux Swearing, Gosh Darn It!“)