Breaking News: Sheryl Crow Sued

Today Sherman Oakes, a spokesman for the Toilet Paper and Facial Tissue Manufacturers Association announced they would be taking Sheryl Crow to court for “gross and irresponsible misrepresentation of the utility of toilet paper and threatening the financial interests of America’s TP producers.”

“The is could wipe us out,” Oakes told reporters. “We don’t like the idea of clogging up the courts with this kind of thing but we don’t feel we have any options. We’re not flush with cash like rock stars are.”

Apparently the TPFTMA has retained the services of the same attorney that sued Oprah Winfrey on behalf of the Texas Beef Producers back in 1996.