Leaked—John McCain's Monday "To Do" List


1. ___ Call the Dale Carnegie people; Demand refund.

2. ___ Call Teddy. Thank him for the 32-year-old single malt.

3. ___ Remind those snot-nosed punks on the committee I know more about immigration everything than any of them.

4. ___ Yell at those #%@&! kids about staying off my lawn.

5. ___ Hit GoDaddy. Register www.ballisto-geezer.com.

6. ___  Yoga. 4p.

7. ___ Blockbuster. Return: Anger Management; Incredible Hulk. Rent: Milagro Beanfield War.