I’m not sure why I love this kind of thing but. . . I love this kind of thing. It is tons of NASA schematic diagrams from the Mercury, Gemini and Apollo Programs. (You know, the fake ones that didn’t really happen.)

The space inside this Mercury capsule looks roughly equivalent to what I’d have if I crawled under my desk. (again)

Okay, I’m going to lay off Senator McCain for a bit. But his Mr. Furious impression in that Senate committee meeting the other day got me thinking.

It served as an interesting contrast to the minor surge of blogospheric joviality that ensued when Mitt Romney was heard using the term “golly” as a substitute for something more, shall we say, course.  NRO’s “The Corner” spent a good part of two days having fun with Romney’s golly-izing. See here, here, here, here , here and here.

I swore off of swearing in sixth or seventh grade. Back when me and my friends were all on the heady cusp of puberty, we had all started swearing like sailorscommenters at the Huffington Post to show how grown up we were becoming.

Then I took a hard look at the adults in my life.

I looked at the lives of the men I knew who used foul language indiscriminately and automatically and compared them to the lives of the men in my world who I had never heard utter an off-color word. I liked what I saw in the lives of the latter group much better. Furthermore, I had an embryonic faith in God and with it, a growing sense that I cared what God thought about my life and my actions.

Thus, at the tender age of 12, I washed out my own mouth with figurative soap and embarked on a lifetime of faux swearing. (Yes, let the mockery and derision from the f-bomb dropping hordes that inhabit the shadows of the comment threads at the Democratic Underground commence. I wear your scorn like a freaking badge of honor.)

Nevertheless, there is something about the human brain’s wiring for language that seems to demand a way to express strong emotion. It is simply not possible to not say anything when you drop a shot put on your pinky toe. So, with all that in view, I now offer you my list of favorite substitute cuss phrases. Some are my creation, others I have adopted from others (I’ll try to give credit where credit is due.):

DAH!’s Little Golden Book of Swear Substitutes Continue reading →

“Myspace to Share Data on Sex Offenders”  Apparently this move is designed to provide a counter-balance to their existing service—Allowing Sex Offenders to Share Data on Teens.

A Dean Barnett post is always worth your time. But photoshopped art on this one makes it doubly tasty.

A Dean Barnett post is always worth your time. But photoshopped art on this one makes it doubly tasty.

1. ___ Call the Dale Carnegie people; Demand refund.

2. ___ Call Teddy. Thank him for the 32-year-old single malt.

3. ___ Remind those snot-nosed punks on the committee I know more about immigration everything than any of them.

4. ___ Yell at those #%@&! kids about staying off my lawn.

5. ___ Hit GoDaddy. Register www.ballisto-geezer.com.

6. ___  Yoga. 4p.

7. ___ Blockbuster. Return: Anger Management; Incredible Hulk. Rent: Milagro Beanfield War.

 

1. ___ Call the Dale Carnegie people; Demand refund.

2. ___ Call Teddy. Thank him for the 32-year-old single malt.

3. ___ Remind those snot-nosed punks on the committee I know more about immigration everything than any of them.

4. ___ Yell at those #%@&! kids about staying off my lawn.

5. ___ Hit GoDaddy. Register www.ballisto-geezer.com.

6. ___  Yoga. 4p.

7. ___ Blockbuster. Return: Anger Management; Incredible Hulk. Rent: Milagro Beanfield War.

According to the advocates of the current wink-or-turn-a-blind-eye approach to illegal aliens, we need lots of illegals because they “do jobs Americans won’t do.”

Well one job this American didn’t want is to attempt to read the 326-page draft of the immigration “reform” bill. Fortunately, Hugh Hewitt has stepped up and done it for the rest of us.

What qualifies Hewitt to stroll into that labyrinth of legislative-speak and full-contact lawyerizationalizing? Well, here are some highlights from Hugh’s resume:

 . .a Professor of Law at Chapman University Law School. . .the recipient of three Emmys during his decade as an anchor of a nightly news and public affairs show for the Los Angeles PBS affiliate, KCET. . .served six years in the Reagan Administration in a variety of posts including in the White House Counsel’s office. . .is a graduate of Harvard College and the University of Michigan Law School. . .

Other than that, he’s just another hack like me.

Tellingly, there are sections of the bill that even Hugh couldn’t decipher. Just wait until some low level bureaucrat starts trying to apply them.

As you read Hewitt’s eight-part dissection of the bill, keep in mind that John McCain is screaming and swearing at my Senator, John Cornyn, because he wants it passed quickly before anybody can actually figure out what it will actually mean for our country.

According to the advocates of the current wink-or-turn-a-blind-eye approach to illegal aliens, we need lots of illegals because they “do jobs Americans won’t do.”

Well one job this American didn’t want is to attempt to read the 326-page draft of the immigration “reform” bill. Fortunately, Hugh Hewitt has stepped up and done it for the rest of us.

What qualifies Hewitt to stroll into that labyrinth of legislative-speak and full-contact lawyerizationalizing? Well, here are some highlights from Hugh’s resume:

 . .a Professor of Law at Chapman University Law School. . .the recipient of three Emmys during his decade as an anchor of a nightly news and public affairs show for the Los Angeles PBS affiliate, KCET. . .served six years in the Reagan Administration in a variety of posts including in the White House Counsel’s office. . .is a graduate of Harvard College and the University of Michigan Law School. . .

Other than that, he’s just another hack like me.

Tellingly, there are sections of the bill that even Hugh couldn’t decipher. Just wait until some low level bureaucrat starts trying to apply them.

As you read Hewitt’s eight-part dissection of the bill, keep in mind that John McCain is screaming and swearing at my Senator, John Cornyn, because he wants it passed quickly before anybody can actually figure out what it will actually mean for our country.