"This paragraph has nothing to do with anything."


In the second season of “Leave it to Beaver” there is a scene in which Ward reads a note from The Beav’s principle. It is only on screen for a couple of seconds and it is only now, in the digital age of screen grabs, that it is possible to read what that letter says.

The enterprising folks over shorpy.com, the wonderful site for vintage photography, have transcribed the entire letter. After 50 years shrouded in mystery, we now know precisely what the letter says:

Mr. Ward Cleaver 
485 Mapleton Dr
Mayfield, State

My Dear Mr. Cleaver: 

This paragraph has absolutely nothing to do with anything.
It is here merely to fill up space. Still, it is words,
rather than repeated letters, since the latter might not
give the proper appearance, namely, that of an actual note.

For that matter, all of this is nonsense, and the only
part of this that is to be read is the last paragraph,
which part is the inspired creation of the producers of
this very fine series.

Another paragraph of stuff. Now is the time for all good
men to come to the aid of their party. The quick brown
fox jumped over the lazy dog. My typing is lousy, but the
typewriter isn’t so hot either. After all, why should I
take the blame for these mechanical imperfections, with
which all of us must contend. Lew Burdette just hit a
home run and Milwaukee leads seven to one in the series.
This is the last line of the filler material of the note.
No, my mistake, that was only the next to last. This is last.

I hope you can find a suitable explanation for Theodore’s
unusual conduct.

Yours truly,
Cornelia Rayburn

Read the whole analysis, including details about Lew Burdette’s homer for Milwaukee in the ’58 World Series, over at Shorpy.