Inside the Obama – Netanyahu Meeting


The good news is our president managed to meet with the Prime Minister of our strongest ally in the volatile Middle East without treating him like a door-to-door Ebola virus salesman.

Sadly, this represents progress.

We are not privy to the nature of their behind-closed-doors conversation, but I can fantasize. Here’s how I see a portion of their private conversation going:

Mr. Netanyahu: So, Mr. President. Where do you think the first Iranian nuke will be detonated? My country or yours? Or perhaps one of the capitals of Europe?

Mr. Obama: Have I mentioned how much I hate the British?

Mr. Netanyahu: This is serious, Mr. President. Our respective intelligence agencies are in agreement. The Iranians are only months away from having enough enriched uraniaum to build a nuclear explosive device–perhaps several.

Mr. Obama: That would be unfortunate . . . deeply regrettable . . .

Mr. Netanyahu: It would be a catastrophe of the highest order, Mr. Obama. Even a modest nuclear explosion in Tel Aviv could kill upwards of a million innocent people. But what if Ahmadinijad and the Mullahs decide to hit you first?

Mr. Obama: Pardon me?

Mr. Netanyahu: You must be aware that one well placed nuclear explosion at roughly 100 kilometers above U.S. soil would produce an electromagnetic pulse that would knock out your nation’s electrical grid and most of the rest of your electronic infrastructure. It would bring your economy to its knees and might take decades to recover. You would see a breakdown in social order and suffering on an unprecedented scale.

The Iranians and North Koreans have already tested missiles capable of such a thing. Your Republicans in Congress have examined this prospect.

Mr. Obama: My money is on Tel Aviv.

Mr. Netanyahu: Charming.

Mr. Obama: Just relax, Bebe. As you may have heard I have recently commissioned the director of NASA to reach out to the Muslim world through the mesmorizing power of space stuff.

Mr. Netanyahu: Very comforting, Mr. President.